Battle of the Brat(s)

So one day I was listening to the Off Menu Podcast with James Acaster and Ed Gamble, and heard of this restaurant Brat. He made this restaurant sound like absolute heaven, from the real fire cooking approach to the carefully curated wine lists that change weekly. So since Jake’s birthday was coming up, I felt it was a perfect excuse to treat myself to a meal in a place I really fancied going to, under the guise of it being a celebration.

Little did I know that this meal would set off an obsession with the restaurant for both of us. I chose the original venue on Redchurch Street, as it was the one with the Michelin star, and Jake is a fancy queen; from the beginning we were impressed. The venue is quite small and simple, with dark wood interiors and an impressive open kitchen with a roaring wood fire. We chose a selection of small and larger plates which came when they came. The wine was pretty expensive but tasty and paired well with everything, i’m guessing the entire list is planned so whatever you choose will be good with whatever is on offer that week. The star of the show for this meal was definitely the huge mutton chop served with offal sausage, butterbeans and lambs liver. It was rich, tasted of barnyard in the best way possible and was quite frankly STUNNING, but so was the Dover sole which was served whole with a lemony-caper butter. Honestly the food is incredible. You cannot leave without trying the Basque cheesecake which is fluffy but dense, with a black burnt top.

But honey… a big storm was coming…

Months later, last week to be exact, we cheated on Brat Redchurch Street with Brat x Climpsons Arch.

I’d love to say it was a one time thing, that it never meant anything and will never happen again, but I just can’t. The reason being, was that Jake got a job at Brat x Climpsons Arch only a few weeks after our first romance with Brat Redchurch Street. So when the time came, we obviously had to go for a meal at the sister restaurant, and I have to say, I preferred it. I’d heard a lot about it from Jake having worked there, but it was not what I expected at all. Walking in, it feels like a beer tent at a festival. Theres a strong smell of woodsmoke and herbs and there are rickety looking tables just set on the tarmac floor. It all looked so makeshift and rustic, very different to the more refined Brat with the Michelin star.

You don’t get any physical menus, and have to just take a picture of the chalkboard that’s shown at the front, boasting different whole fish that you can choose by weight, meats, small plates and oysters as an appetiser. We had two glasses of champagne to start along with oysters dressed with dill and chardonnay vinegar. We then moved on to having the famous anchovy bread, served hot, along with ox tongue smothered in a smoky red pepper sauce, tuna croquettes with a bitter leaf salad, charred romanesco and fennel salad with anchovy dressing and a bottle of Sicilian white wine. YOU NEED TO GO HERE. Not only did I prefer the menu this time, but the atmosphere was relaxed but fun and busy, a bit like a street party.

We needed a break between the small plates and the main, because although they were small, they were so rich and full of flavour that we wanted to recover a little before the delicate 1.2kg crab came to our table, served alongside smoked roasted potatoes drenched in hay butter (yes you read that right, butter that had been smoked with hay). Not only was the crab bloody massive, but the brown meat in the head was smushed together in to a bisque with wine and lemon, perfect for dipping the tender claw meat in to, or potatoes, or your fingers, or your face. Anything you like really.

At this point, Jake and I were drunk, bloated and happy. But we lack self control, so we got two espresso martinis, a Basque cheesecake and a rhubarb and custard choux bun to finish. The choux bun was a bit of a curveball, we didn’t think it would be as good as it was, but holy mother of sh!xt it was tart, creamy and light, a welcome cut through all the rich food we just inhaled.

Long story short, just go to Brat x Climpson’s Arch.